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Dike Drummond MD
www.TheHappyMD.com
[Transcript]
Physicians Unchained: Retirement Mastery for Doctors – Weekly Tip
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My new book Physicians Unchained: Retirement Mastery for Doctors launching in ApriL The NEW ROADMAP to Stick the Landing on this Life of Purpose
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The Physician's 2nd Prime Directive - way deeper, way darker, and way more powerful.
Introduction
Hello, Dr Dike Drummond, MD, here again with the latest lesson from my new book, Physicians Unchained Retirement Mastery for Doctors. Today, we're going to talk about the second of healthcare's two prime directives.
Reviewing the First Prime Directive
Last week, we talked about the patient comes first. That's the conscious one. Everybody acknowledges doctors and our whole society together, and it's a primary cause of burnout and a primary cause of the struggle with retirement, because if the patient's always first, there's no off switch.
Nobody ever gave you an off switch, did they? There's no off switch. You really can't take care of yourself.
So it's a primary cause of burnout and retirement struggle, but it's only one of the two prime directives.
The Second Prime Directive
Today we're going to talk about the second prime directive, which is way deeper, way more powerful.
And nobody ever says it out loud, but as soon as I do, you're going to recognize it immediately, because you've been programmed like this, and we all know it to be true.
A lot of people think that self care is just a set of personal preferences, when to set a boundary, ask for help, take a break. But being educated as a doctor completely destroys your ability to do those acts of self care.
And as destructive as the first prime directive, the patient comes first, is it's not the most powerful.
The second prime directive goes like this.
Never show weakness.
And if I state it a little differently, it goes like this.
Never do anything to make anybody think you haven't got what it takes.
A Hidden Programming
And I may be the first person who's ever said that to you out loud, because it's a subconscious directive way more powerful than the conscious one, and we've all been living this reality since the first day of medical school.
How It Shows Up in Practice
And here's how it actually looks in practice.
Taking a vacation — maybe he hasn't got what it takes.
Asking for a break — maybe she hasn't got what it takes.
Leaving on time — maybe he hasn't got what it takes.
Saying no to an extra shift — maybe she hasn't got what it takes.
Getting something to eat, taking a bathroom break, going home when you're sick, asking someone for help.
Every single one of these normal human behaviors filtered through the second prime directive is potentially a sign of weakness to your colleagues and supervisors.
And any form of self care, any form of slowing down, any form of taking a break, is seen as a potential liability.
The Uneven Impact
And I want to be really clear about something right now.
This directive is much more powerful if you don't look like me, right? I'm a big old white guy born in America, English is my native language.
And if you vary from me in any of those variables, let's say perhaps you're young, you're petite, you're cute, you're a female, you're brown skinned, and English is not your first language.
Wow, you're going to have to work so much harder to survive the maybe she hasn't he hasn't got what it takes.
It is absolutely not fair, and it is absolutely true.
The Vice of the Two Prime Directives
And together, these two prime directives actually form a vice.
The patient comes first means you can never put yourself first.
Never show weakness means you can never show any sign that you need a break, some time off or some support.
Squeezing you in the middle.
And you are actually human, as much as we may wish we were superhuman.
There's just no room to say, this is not okay. This is unsustainable. I'm struggling help.
Which is why, in part, that physicians suicide rates are twice the average for non physician employees, at least in America.
What Changes at Retirement
And what happens when you reach the retirement transition and move away from practice and into your life after medicine?
All of these rules fall away.
You can put yourself first for the first time since medical school.
You can honor that you're a human being with limits, with needs.
And you have the right to say things like:
Today, I rest.
Today, I put myself first.
Today, I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
The Hangover From the Prime Directives
And I tell you what, there's a hangover on these two prime directives.
It will take you six, nine, twelve, maybe eighteen months to recover completely from this programming and actually be able to care for yourself the way you perhaps have cared for your patients for decades.
However, until you're able to step away from practice, these two prime directives will hold you in place, like nailing your feet to the floor.
Recognize them. Recognize how pervasive and old and deep they are.
And we can work together to take you to a new reality where the patient doesn't come first and self care is not a sign of weakness.
Closing
That's it for today.
If you're seeing me on social media, you're not on my early bird list. There's a place somewhere around me, probably in the comments, where you can sign up, and you'll get an email every week with another one of these lessons as we approach the book launch in late April, and you'll be one of the first people to know when the book is available for purchase.
That's Physicians Unchained Retirement Mastery for Doctors, a new roadmap to stick the landing on this life of purpose.
I'll see you in the next video.
Until then, keep paying it forward. Keep being a light worker, a helper and a healer.
Keep breathing.
I'll see you next time.